I've just been to do my tax. The person helping me (Sam) asked, “is this (music) a business or a hobby?”
And that's quite the question, isn't it.
The tax accountant observed that if marketing is involved, it's a business. She was probably talking about tax rules but it resonated with me in a completely different way.
Music has always been a hobby, something I do for fun, because I love it, because it makes me happy. Some people play footy, others decorate cakes - I write songs and sing them.
However, here we are - with a website and music-specific social media pages where I make posts about what I do and try to encourage other people to come to the things I'm doing.
In other words - marketing.
Sam (and the tax office) were right. You don't tend to market a hobby. You might tell people about it because you're proud of it or want to show it off. But marketing is what you do when you are trying to get someone to “buy” something. Or be interested in something. To like something, maybe?
This shifts the dynamic entirely. It's not enough to just be quietly pleased that I made up a nice song that I like and enjoy singing - to internally self validate. Now you need external validation … you need other people (ideally not just your mum and your cats) to also like your song and like listening to you sing it.
And this is where imposter syndrome kicks in. I see my friends and others I know who are far, far more talented and skilled than I am - and I wonder what on earth I'm thinking. And that, frankly is just uncomfortable.
It would be nice to just be able to consider this issue, land on a way to feel about it and move on. But this one is like standing on one of those things you get to improve your balance. Constantly wobbling about, leaning one way then another depending on the day. Sometimes within a day!
I don't think I'm alone. Let me know if you also feel like that too xx